Proverbs 29, 30, 31

Well, I have to say that I far underestmated the quantity of time and effort that was necessary to produce a wedding ceremony. Although I fell behind this week, I am committed to finishing proverbs so I have finished thes last 3 chapters in the few quiet moments that I have left before everything gets going.

From chapter 29, verse 25 stood out to me, "fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.". Proverbs started with defining in a few different ways what it meant to fear the Lord. As I remember this, it seems appropriate to have a reminder that fear of men has no place in our lives, only Him who provides for us. I know that there are plenty of ways where it is easy to get caught up fearing men, but I have to remember that it is the Lord that s always watching over me and not someone else.

Proverbs 30:5-6 says, "every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those wh take refuge in Him. Do not add to his words, or He will rebuke you and prove you a liar.". I think this is another healthy reminder as I end this focused devotion to God as Proverbs applies to marriage, to remember what God is saying and to take care to interpret what is written correctly. It can be esy for me sometimes to work scripture into an outcome that is preferrable in my eyes, but that is not what God wants, and that is not my job as husband to Susan. I need to seek God in reading scripture so that I can present the best version of myself to God and to Susan so that I represent the purposes that God has for me well.

And finally, Proverbs 31, a fitting end to this month of prayer and reflection. Verses 10-11 stand out to me especially because as I read them I am reminded of Susan, "a wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.". This is exactly how I see Susan. She is always doing the right thing and putting God at the front. I am so pleased that God ha brought me suach a noble woman. I don't know of anything worth more in this world than having her as my wife. Once again, I am reminded that God has knitted His plans for our lives since the beginning. In retrospect, it has all worked out to be such a perfect outcome. I am grateful to God every day for how He has blessed me with Susan.

Thank you all for following along and giving me your thoughts and encouragements. I'm glad to call you all family and friends. Please continue to pray for Susan and I as we start the rest of our lives.

Warmly,
Bob
-Bob

Proverbs 28

When a country is rebellious, it has many rulers, but a man of undersanding and knowledge maintains order. (Verse 2)

One of the things that we have covered quite extensively in our church classes are the roles of men. What was presented to us was that men have a greater responsibility in the home to fulfill roles than do women. This is because both men and women are programmed with their own roles, but it is the man's responsibility to first take his roles. Then it is natural for a woman to take on her godly roles. However, if I do not do this diligently every day, we've learned that our wives will pick up where we stop and take on roles that we are not fulfilling. In this way they are providig for their own needs when we as men choose not to.

I'm aware of this and of verse 2 and I am committed to the roles that God asks of me. I am to provide, protect, initiate, and be a source of God in the home. Although proverbs 2 mentions a country, I think it is also solidifying that I must fulfill these godly roles that are asked of me, otherwise there will be rebellion, dissention, argument, and a feeling of distance between Susan and I. Of course I don't always know how to fulfill these roles for every circumstance and every occassion, but I trust God to lead me as long as I am open to the paths and roles that He puts before me. I Love Susan and want to provide for her, protect her, initiate where needed in any matter, and finally be a source of God in our marriage. I ask god to lead me in the ways that will help me to fulfill these roles.

-Bob

Proverbs 27

He is is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man that strays from his home. (Verses 7-8)

I can honestly say that I am truly excited to marry Susan. However I think that there is a warning in these verses. No matter how excited I am and how strongly I commit today, I think I would be a fool to think that the devil will not try to attack me and attempt to undermine my committment wherever he could. I think the warning here is to 1) remember how green the grass is on my side of the fence, especially since I am just now starting marriage and experiencing a life together with susan, and 2) to be wary of straying. A nest for a bird offers protection and provision. I kow how that the Lord is pleased with me marrying Susan, but I also know that He is free to lift His protection and provision if I am not fulfilling my committment at home with Susan. I am resolved to take heed to this warning and to not stray but also to remember how sweet the honey is that God gave me.
-Bob

Proverbs 26

Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (verse 12)

Proverbs 26 is all about identifying the bahaviors of the fool, so that, in my opinion, we can learn and be better by it. Nothing is worse than a man that thinks more highly of himself than he should. In that regard, I am to make sure that I have a humble heart and that my actions are not haughty. Proverbs 26 syas that there is a rod for the backs of fools and that I will dig a pit or move a rock only to fall in or have it roll back.

I must keep away from the behaviors in this chapter so that I don't bring on calamity for my house and also so that I set the right example for the type of behavior that our house will stand for.
-Bob

Proverbs 25

"It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings." (verse 2) God speaks in "that still small voice". It's hard to find where God has spoken to me by shouting or other boisterous means. It is this little treasure hunt game that He plays: He tries to give me something which requires me to stop, be still, and carefully listen and think about the clues. This is God's way of things and I think it comes back to what we see in other places; God is interested in out heart. Anyone can follow instructions when they are preceded with thunder, lightning and loud voices, but it is greatly more difficult to find a whisper amongst the other noises, to understand it, and to follow. I know that the hardest part of that equation for me is to turn down the other volumes of life and put a few things on pause so that I can distinguish the voice of the Lord. This is extremely difficult to do. my personality is to wake up early, get a running start on my day, go full-throttle all day long, and squeeze a few more things in between dinner and sleeping to top off the day. Naturally if I don't choose differently than this, my own personality will push God out from my days. After not too long the days won't be good anymore. So the challenge for me is to bring God back with the volumes turned down and the pace controlled so that when that small voice starts to speak, I can recognize it from the other noises and change my course to focus on that for the time-being. -Bob

Proverbs 24

"Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready; after that, build your house." (verse 27) This verse puzzles me still after thinking about it, so I choose to put it out here to see if anyone else has any different thoughts. So, I'm puzzled and I start by eliminating what this is NOT saying... that work comes before family and home. It couldn't be this because it would contradict interpretations of other places in scripture. So then it must be that as we are also told elsewhere, that we are given a job to do each day. That job is ordained by the Lord and given only to us. Even though we may not know the divine plan for that job, we are still to obey. Also, it seems that God is trying to make us aware of certain time-orders of things. In a farming community, if you were late and missed the season, you had to wait until next year. So clearly time can create priorities. Then, finally we come to working on our own homes. I don't think that this means to always put home and family last. In fact, in verse 3 it says that "by wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established." So as I start a family with Susan, the challenge for me will be to understand the work that God has for me to do, to understand the critical timings that are present in work, and then have enough wisdom to know when work had gone beyond God, or timing is no longer as He had intendid, and to set work aside and elevate the home to priority #1. This way when I understand all of these things, family will always be rightfully first. If this then is the true order of things (as given by God) since Susan is prayerful in her own respects, I should not fear the times when I must choose work over family so long as I am completely confident that I am either doing a work for the Lord or a work that is critical in time for Him. She will understand these things from God as well and know that my heart is with family and home but to truly execute God's will for any given day of my life, that I have to do work. I pray for the Lord to give me the ability to see work as He does and not to be overcome with my own desire for completing objectives and makeing achievements. -Bob

Proverbs 23

The parts in Proverbs 23 that spoke to me were all about keeping modest wealth. "Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches and they are surely gone. Do not move an ancient boundary stone or encroach on the fields of the fatherless." (verses 4, 5, 10) I think this is all talking about priorities in life, what really comes first, and how we go about getting those things. I can make two mistakes in this regard, I can have the wrong order to my priorities and/or I can work toward the priorities in the wrong ways. In clear statements, I am told not to work harder and harder just to get rich. There may be a day where the Lord desires that I give extra effort, but that will be His calling and not my decision just to gain more wealth. Should I choose to work harder and harder for money would mean that I am not trusting in God for His provisions over my life. The scripture then says to seek wisdom in order to show restraint. This implies to me that there will be some times where it is necessary to work harder and then it is up to me to develop judgement to know when to say stop. Secondly, then, I think verse 10 is talking about how I am supposed to go about achievements in life. So, assuming that my purposes are ordaind and that I am showing proper restraint, there are reasonable boudaries that are already established for proper behavior. It is not honorable to expand my realm at the expense of someone else. Again, expansion comes from God and if that is His desire, then He will provide that in His own ways. I read the scripture and time and again hear the same theme, although said many ways..."Play by the rules". I interpret this first to be God's rules, and then to be the rules of this world. It is not my place to judge the rules set by those in authority over me and so I must abide. In this case, but more and more in all things, I start to use that phrase as a guiding light. Am I playing by the rules? First His, and then the worlds. I'm guided by morality, of course, but I think I can fear and honor God the best when I really seek to "play by the rules". -Bob

Proverbs 22

"Rich and poor have this in common, the Lord is maker of them all... Do not exploit the poor because they are poor and do not crush the needy in court, for the Lord will take up their case and will plunder those who plunder them... A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor." (verses 2, 22, 23, 8) As with the last chapter I see an emphasis on how God wants us to treat the poor. The commands here are that no matter our financial position, we are equals with everyone else, and that we must remember this in our dealings so that we do not exploit another's need. He backs this up by saying that He will defend the poor. And finally, it is good to share with those that have less because as with everything, God is watching. I believe that when we share with others to help give them their basic needs, that we are fulfilling the intents of God and that He is pleased with these kinds of works. For Susan and I, we are just now going to start what I estimate as a fairly comfortable life (Praise God!). We have a house and two stable jobs, and as we start living together, our expenses will actually drop as we no longer have to pay 2 cable, electric, water, etc. bills. Susan and I have already discussed at length the roles that each one of us is planning to take as we are married. One of my main roles is the home finances. So I know that as we find a few extra dollars every month, that it also gives me extra responsibility to listen to God when He might be asking me to do something for His purposes with that money. I'm praying for the Lord to open my heart and eyes to the things that He wants me to see. This way, I don't fail in fiscal responsibility to Him because of my own blindness.

Proverbs 21

"If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered." (verse 13) This one is really deep and I think it is getting at a point that is deeper than just helping the poor. Yesterday in bible study we talked about how we traditionally help the poor; many times this is giving them handouts of food, money, or other goods. We examined this and it seems that it is really God's intention that in addition to helping them attain their basic needs, we also need to provide for their purpose in life by giving them something to work for. So this was the mindset that I had started with when I read this verse. Verse 13 does not give instruction on what to give to the poor or how to give it. For that matter, it doesn't say much about any exchange of food, money, job, etc. What it does talk about is if my "ears" or in this case I think it means "heart or spirit" is open to seeing and empathizing with their suffering. I think the nature of God is that He wants us to feel (by being led by the Spirit) and then have our feelings lead our actions rather than simply tell us what specifically to do. God holds the poor close, the scripture tells us this. It's easy to look past the poor and suffering, but it clearly says that if we look past, if we close our world to theirs, then God will close His to us. A bit scary!! So what does this mean to Susan and I? We both believe strongly in our giving of first fruits to the Lord. But it seems that just the check or the canned food is not as important as what he desires in both of our hearts. Susan and I need to be aware and diligent to take time to benefit the poor; to exercise what our "ears" are telling us. We get exposed to these opportunities often and probably don't act on them much to go out and serve the poor. As the song says, I pray for God to "break my (and our) heart for what breaks [His]". In this then, the spirit will convict me to go where He needs me. -Bob

Proverbs 20

"Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find...It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows." (verses 6,25)


Anyone who knows Susan and I well know that we've had a bumpy road as we considered our relationship and if and how there was a future for us. It seemed that for a long time we were on "different pages" in life and always just grazed a serious path to marriage rather than actually traverse it. I can't count how many long conversations and difficult days we had as we tried to figure out the right things to do. Nevertheless, that is all behind us and here we are, but as I consider those times, I can most certainly see God working in all of those things to help keep me from making the wring choice. His timing is truly perfect. Sometimes that wrong choice would have been to push forward with marriage too soon, and at other times that wrong choice would have been to walk away entirely. The Lord never closed these doors completely. I'm thankful for these times that the Lord brought us through because it feels now that Susan and I have had so much opportunity to consider everything regarding our love and our relationship. I feel now that we are going forward with marriage on the Lord's path and on His timing. But even more so, I feel that this is a choice that both she and I are making after literally years of consideration. It could have worked the other way, as verse 25 says, and we could have married and then later considered our actions. But as I said, I am extremely happy for the timing that this all has happened on because this decision, and commitment to Susan, are not rushed. For this I know that I won't be that person who wakes up years into my marriage and decides that I made the wrong choice. Finally, although verse 6 paints a pretty bleak picture that no man can have unfailing love, I believe that the path that Susan and I have traveled to get here (by the way... here is now only 10 days away) gives us an intense love for one another that can stand up to strong trials. I only pray that we are never tested in that regard. Once again, I thank God for His timing and for mysteriously bringing all the critical pieces together in a time that truly shows His power and working in my life.
-Bob

Proverbs 19

"Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." (verse 14) In other places in Proverbs, it compares worldly gains to spiritual gains and makes the point that no amount of stuff can substitute for spiritual riches. My parents have blessed me in many ways, but I know that the material things that have come as blessings are not what will shape me and remain with me. Likewise in Susan, her parents have planted in her, a different deposit of spiritual blessings. This is all the Lord's work. All the things that have made me who I am and all the things that have made Susan who she is, contribute to her spiritual make-up at this juncture in life. I believe that the Lord has worked divinely in me and in Susan, before we ever met each other, to prepare us for each other. My parents have fed, clothed, and educated me, and although they were the Lord's instruments, it was He who retained the plan for how I will be a husband for Susan. Again, Likewise, the lord has worked in Susan's life to bring her to this stage in life, a person who will be a wife fitting for me. God watches out for us in so many small ways. I find myself thanking God, when there is a near traffic miss, when I just barely make the bus, or when a random act of grace comes my way. Now, I gt to thank the Lord for His divine plan of bringing Susan and I together. It is not by chance or fortunate timing. All of this is exactly as He intended it to be; in circumstance and in time. Praise God for His perfect plan. -Bob

Proverbs 18

"He who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the Lord." (verse 22). I think that it is God's plan that we marry. I trust that God knows more about my needs than I do, and so I trust Him knowing that He says that it is good to find a wife. Although there are still some things that I'm still apprehensive about, I know that I'm on the path that God has planned for me. I think deep down we all need companionship and to find purpose in a family. I think this is part of how we are wired. I could have chosen to stay single for much longer, but I think back to the time when I had felt that way and I can certainly recall feeling that the paths I were on were very much singular. Everything I did was solo. I used to think that solo was the best way to be, but I've changed my mind. I realize that there is more to gain in life when I'm sharing it with another person. I'm looking forward to spending my life with Susan. I know that God has brought her to me in a divine way and that the two of us getting married will fulfill His purpose. And because of that, I know that my life will feel good because it is in line with His. -Bob

Proverbs 17

"Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." (Verses 1,14) I'd be an idiot to think that Susan and I won't fight. In fact, we've had our share already; some big one's too, and I'm wondering if there are even bigger ones to come. I'm thankful that I can't recall a time when we have stayed mad at each other for more than a few hours. Sometimes we may not have reached an agreement, but anger and dissent have subsided. It seems that Proverbs is encouraging me to seek peace with Susan (the person who I will live with, spend nearly all of my time with, share the most intimate things with, etc) before nearly all else in life. That peace in our home is more rewarding than the best meal. I can honestly believe this because when I look back on the fights that Susan and I have had (many times over seemingly trivial things), when they are not resolved, I genuinely feel a lacking in my body and my soul. This is a lacking I feel until we reach a resolution. I know that I have to continue to listen to this repeatedly, and that it is my role to initiate the origins of peace after a fight, regardless of whose fault it may be. I'm the one who is responsible to God for our family and I have to then be the one to bring us both back into right standing with Him. I know what it feels like when peace is not here and I have to maintain diligence to see that I react appropriately to bring Susan and I back to a peaceful place. -Bob

Proverbs 16

"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord...There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death...Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:2,25,3) I can take these few verses and apply them to almost anything. It's tempting to focus on some other life aspects, but I'll maintain my goal of examining what Proverbs has to say as it applies to marriage. I think these verses are talking about the choices that I will have to make. I don't know what those will be, but I'm told here that just by my ways alone, the choice may appear right, but I'll not be sure of a right choice unless God is involved in making that choice. I'll know I'm proceeding in the right direction if I know that my choice has been instructed or confirmed by the Lord. Verse 3 then says that with plans committed to Him, they will succeed. I don't think that He is trying to define success, but perhaps the absence of calamity. And finally, God is really looking at our heart motives when we make choices: is my heart in it for God, or is God a secondary factor? I know I'll be faced with making some tough decisions regarding Susan and I. I'm sure they will things like, where to live, how to discipline children, jobs to take or not to take, etc. but my challenge here is to remain in the presence of the Lord and not to let my ways and plans be above His. He already knows the desires of my heart and when I choose His ways, I trust that He will be rewarding in His own time. And until then, I have to commit all that I do to glorifying His purposes. -Bob

Proverbs 15

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise commends knowledge;
But the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life,
But a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
The lips of the wise spreads knowledge,
Not so the hearts of fools"
Verses 1, 2, 4, and 7

Again it's obvious to me what is important to take away from this chapter just from the amount of text used: God is concerned with what we say? Maybe that is because what we say is different that what we think because our words go beyond our own selves. But, this is double-edged, with the ability to harm or help.

No doubt since Susan and I will be spending the rest of our lives together that we might use the largest proportion of our words over our lifetimes in communicating with one another. If not, certainly the conversations will have a different meaning and weight than with co-workers and friends. That means then that I have to think before I speak. I guess a married man doesn't need the Bible to confirm that truth, but here I think it is really telling me to consider my tone and demeanor when I speak with Susan so that we don't start irrelevant fights because of a stupid off hand comment or an unneeded tone; to be a source of comfort to her and to keep all lies from my mouth; and to make sure that when I speak that I know facts rather than guessing. Maybe this is even telling me to avoid gushing folly from my mouth like a fool. That sounds awfully close to advice I have heard before; that women want men to listen and not to react. I guess God knows all these things long before we do and in his subtle ways He is telling me everything I need to know about women if I simply search for His intent.
-Bob

Proverbs 14

"He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress,
And for his children it will be a refuge."
Verse 26

Clearly God values the home and the environment there. It should be the refuge from everything else that has happened in a day. But I know how it can't feel that way ifi don't put God first. There are days when I am completely stressed out and I let myself get agitated with other people and can act pretty abrasively, especially to the people that are closest to me. And then even when I come back home (or go to be with those people that are close to me, including Susan) that abrasiveness hasn't yet worn off. I usually attempt to use working out as a typical way to get some of that stress and frustration out, but even that still can't always solve me attitude.

But when I choose to have God as part of my day, much of that changes. I can certainly recognize those times when I am dependant on God in my daily activities and especially when coming home doesn't change any of the outcomes of the day, but it definitely mutes all of the emotional parts that are hard to control. So to be starting a life with Susan and thinking about coming home to her at the end of each day, it's critical that I remember how God intends my house to be and how my commitment and action toward God is related to the home life that results. I keep seeing in Proverbs that it is not all about me anymore, and that I need to expand my thinking to be aware of consequences for 2 instead of 1.
-Bob

Proverbs 13

"He who walks with the wise grows wise,
But a companion of fools suffers harm."

As time has gone on and Susan and I have matured, I've watched us change as a couple as well as the change is the people we associate with. Lately we've spent more time with couples/marrieds than before, and I suspect that the same trend continues as life brings other changes: that we will be spending time with people of similar associations.

If I know that this shift has started or is still coming, then it is important for me (and Susan) to be aware of the people we choose to associate with. I'm sure that it will be exciting as we start to do things as a married couple with other married couples. Yet these need to be the right people to be spending our time with. Of course this is a basic truth, but we need to be especially guarded against those people who can shape our perception of marriage. We need to be surrounding urselves with the right christian people with the right committments themselves regarding marriage. That way we do not find ourselves influenced while we are first defining what our marriage looks like.
-Bob

Proverbs 12

Both verses 4 and 9 had practical applications for marriage in my eyes.

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

"Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than to pretend to be somebody and have no food."

First, verse 4 although it talks about Susan, I think still starts with me. In Men's Fraternity at church we have talked many times about men's roles in marriage. One of which is that it's a man's responsibility to be an initiator (in all sorts of matters). And so although verse 4 talks about the role of a wife, I still believe that it first has to start with me. I have to be fulfilling my roles first, and with God's grace then, she'll feel natural to fulfill the roles that God has laid out for her, in this case, to have noble character. So really it's on me to be on my game and to not give excuses if there are parts of our relationship that are not peachy.

I also think that verse 9 is extremely practical as I try to fulfill my role as the head of our financial matters. I'm aware of all the pressures today to have all the "things"; house, car, cell phone, etc. But this verse is warning me about financial prudence as well in making those choices. It means that I should be grateful for any house and car and not necessarily the most beautiful ones. I trust the Lord in my financial matters and I know that if I maintain prudence that he will always make sure that Susan and I are taken care of in basic needs. But it still lies on me not to squander money chasing fruitless gains.

-Bob

Proverbs 11

Verse 25: A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. This verse speaks to me as I remember that in marrying Susan, I am no longer just myself...it will be us. I won't only be concerned in life with myself but the well-being, happiness, safety, care, and satisfaction of Susan. If my mom taught me anything, it was that it was a guy's job to take care of a girl. And so I plan to do this. I'm sure also that I'll come to understand what this means even more intimately than I do now. So in verse 25, it reminds me to be generous and to refresh others. In this case I apply this instruction to Susan. In all the things I listed above; happiness, safety, etc., I can certainly accomplish them, or even more, I can be sure to double my generosity and make Susan feel like she is the most loved person on the planet. We went through this in Men's Fraternity at church; that the focus of a marriage is for a man to make sure that his wife feels extremely loved and for a wife to have her husband feel respected. So I want to fulfill my role in this using the spirit of verse 25, with generosity and by refreshing Susan. I can always tell when she feels loved by the smile on her face. And usually she doesn't have to say anything. So if I don't get that response from her, I know that I'll need to be more generous and give her more of my love so that she can feel refreshed. -Bob

Proverbs 10

Although there is a lot is chapter 10 about the connection between our speech and how it is viewed by God, it was actually verse 12 that seeemed to grab me considering the context of marriage.

"Hatred stirs up dissention,
but love covers over all wrongs."

I know that marriage won't be all roses and that Susan and I are likely to disagree. Maybe that's even an understatement knowing that she can get firery at times and that I can be insanely stubborn. But as verse 12 says, hatred stirs up dissention, and not the other way around. Also, hatred is a choice, dissention or disagreement might not be, but the reaction to a disagreement certainly is. What gets me here is that Susan and I have to be watchful not to let little things build up to a hatred. Once that happens, our marriage could get pretty dicey. I also know that with our personalities, it will take diligence on my part to make sure that we diffuse situations before they become larger issues.

Finally, then, since love covers over all wrongs, this will be my tool for diffusing difficult circumstances. I still remember that it is a choice and so even in the midst of conflict, I can choose to settle a dispute and let love take over. With love, we both have the ability to give and receive grace from one another to keep our marriage strong.

-Bob
-Bob

Proverbs 9

Proverbs 9 contrasts how both Wisdom and Folly call out to the simple. Wisdom, from the highest point int he city call, "Let all who are simple come in here!" she says to those who lack judgement (verse4). In verse 16 it says that Folly does likewise calling from the highest point in the city to the simple. But although they sound alike, they are quite different. Wisdom has made preparation of meat and wine, while Folly has only stolen food to offer. This is a good depiction of how wisdom is hidden among many other things that pretend to look like it. Isn't this the way of the devil! But it is differentiated by the preparations. It's as another place in scripture says...you can tell a tree by the fruit it bears. I know that I can usually recognize a well-prepared meal from something "stolen" or at least hastily prepared. So too is wisdom and the ways of the Lord separated from the seemingly similar foolish choices. I think this comes back to having trained my eyes and heart to spot the foolish paths before I get too close to them. Repetition then breeds success. Learning how to differentiate the right path from the wrong one will prepare me for the next time, and the next, where it gets harder and harder to find the difference between the two. I can already recite a short list of a few key places in my life where I've made the wrong decision, but at least in those, I know have a keen understanding of what the foolish path looks like and I know I won't be going back down that way again. I know that I can't quite fathom what this whole marriage relationship will look like with Susan, but I know it will be rough at times and that together we'll be faced with some pretty tough choices as we go. Maybe by keeping my eyes on the Lord and my prayers focused on finding the right decisions while they are still small, that when the tougher relational and family decisions come, they won't feel so tough after all; because I'll be able to see Wisdom and Folly calling out and I can hopefully brush aside the foolish way quickly so that I can get on with the right one.

Proverbs 8

Proverbs 8:13 To fear the Lord is to hate evil; hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. Whenever I read anything in scripture that says to fear the Lord, I still have a feeling that I don't understand that phrase to the depth that it entails. Here it says it is the same as hating evil. For those of you that know me, you already know that I have a pretty even temperament. But there are some things that still irk me to the boiling point: traffic is certainly number one, but then also spending money when it doesn't make sense to, and having people touch my feet. If someone was polling me on the street, I'm afraid that EVIL probably wound' have made my list of the things that I hate. I guess that I have some things to work on then. Now considering an example of one of the things that I do hate, traffic, I take great strides to make sure that I minimize the time I spend in traffic each day by rolling out of bed at ungodly hours of the morning to beat the other cars onto the road, checking freeway congestion to make sure that I take the route which will save me 5 minutes off of my trip, and yes, I'm the guy (sometimes) who changes lanes (safely of course) to try to stay in the lane that is always moving the fastest. (I never said that I was perfect). Honestly that's quite a bit of effort. But when it comes to evil, I don't observe myself going to the same pains to create the avoidance. So maybe I don't hate evil enough? After all it's about respecting the Lord and aligning myself with His ways, and since He hates evil, then I probably need to learn how to do the same. Hate is a strong word, but it seems to fit into proverbs well because it invokes the idea of strong avoidance even from a distance. By creating a hate for evil within me, I hopefully can be able to keep it at a further and further distance. That all comes back to the behavioral elements that verse 13 listed: pride, arrogance, and perverse speech. Hating it enough, I'll start to intentionally avoid pride and arrogance. I already know that pride and arrogance quickly destroy you from the inside and that perverse speech is nothing more than a verbal mess. so Proverbs is telling me to identify the places where I have had evil behavior and to quickly develop a hatred for them so that I can place those behaviors as far away as possible. I doing this I will be fearing and respecting the Lord. -Bob

Proverbs 7

So again, proverbs gives more instruction on avoiding adultery in Chapter 7. Clearly this is a heavy topic and of great importance. To be honest I find it hard to apply instructions to avoid adultery because it makes every sense to me that it is a completely wrong thing. In fact, at less than a month from getting married, I honestly can't even imagine being enamored with another woman besides Susan. I honestly hope that the feeling stays with me forever, but I've heard and I think I understand other people when they say that Love is a choice in addition to a feeling. Absolutely, I love Susan; both as a feeling of the heart and as a choice. But I can see that I need to renew that choice every day, or like in yesterday's chapter, "a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands too rest, and poverty will come on you like a bandit." Complacency can bring disaster. That applies here as well. One day at a time might not change much, but cumulatively, many days of forgetting that loving Susan is a choice can start to compromise what I think I feel. My take-away from this reading is that, first as verses 2-5 say "keep my commands...write them on the tablet of your heart...call understanding your kinsman, and they will keep you from the adulteress" and, second, I need to remember that each day I make a choice to love Susan. This way no matter what we fight about or how angry or frustrated I might get with her, my love for her will not hesitate and I will never be compromised by even thinking of making the choice of adultery. I'm glad that I have all of you as Godly men in my life both as examples to me and as witnesses to what I attest here and to what I promise to Susan at our wedding. I understand that I am committing to be faithful to her until the day I die and I take that very seriously. So, coming back to how I started this, Proverbs rightly applies seriousness to the topic of adultery. And it is up to me to choose every day that I love Susan and to honor God and her with my commitment. -Bob

Proverbs 6

Verses 10-11 "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man." I think this makes sense both for my daily life as well as for spiritual applications. It's easy to see that becoming lackadaisical in finances, work, repairs, cleaning, etc all will lead to some situation of hopelessness: an overflowing sink, an overgrown yard, a worn out car, or an empty bank account. I think this warning is more importantly a spiritual one. One day at a time, and every choice we make, we can choose to have God included or excluded. Add that dirty dish to either the sink or to the dishwasher. Constantly making the right decision not only develops good habits fir the future, but keeps the kitchen well kept. But then the 2nd and 3rd day comes and prayer is left out, devotions are forgotten, and life is too busy to recognize God, and quickly the days have become like the sink full of dirty dishes. Nothing can be done except to clear away all the clutter and start to re-build the habit once again. It's easy in concept to clear the 1 dish, or remember the 1 daily prayer, but applying it over and over is ever more important. God is there but he wants me to come to him constantly to have relationship with Him. That relationship is destroyed if I put Him off for another day, then again, and again, etc. For Susan and I this means that I have to be diligent to make sure that we pray together every day and to take time to recognize where God has interacted in our lives. He has done so many great things already, why would He abandon us now. We simply need to acknowledge Him each day. -Bob

Proverbs 5

Proverbs 5, in giving direction on adultery, is much different that Chapter 1 which gives direction on avoiding sinners. Proverbs 1:15 ...do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths Proverbs 5:18 Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house. Proverbs 5 says to take extra caution in dealing with adulterous behavior; to not only stay off of their paths, but in fact to avoid crossing them and to avoid being near to those paths altogether. I think that this is an example of God stepping in to help us where he knows that we can be too weak to help ourselves. So he gives more specific and guided isntruction. "for a man's ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths." We are human and therefore can not be perfect. God know this and so would not want us in a situation that tests our reserve in fending off attacks from the devil. I specifically think that the devil can tell if we are weak in this area and will do everything possible to make us stumble. But the Lord says to go no near the path of an adulterer. In applying this to Susan and I, I think one of the ways which we've started this relationship will help us to stay away from the adulterous path altogether. We started by writing down a set of "ground-rules" to help each other understand our expectations. After the discussion of all the topics, one of the "rules" was that we were not going to be spending time alone with anyone of the opposite sex without discussing it together first. This has been a good start to make sure that even if we don't feel that we are being tempted that we have each other to help check our own thinking to make sure that we aren't blind to any part of the situation. Still I know that this will always require thought and effort. I'll be forced to think ahead to make sure that whatever I do on a day to day basis is not leading me near to a adulterous temptation. I think the best that I can do is to continually be open with Susan about what decisions I make, where I spend time, and who is with me when she is not. That way everything is in the light and no insignificant details can turn into a temptation later. -Bob

Proverbs 4

Verse 14-15, 25-27 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and go on your way. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Consider the level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or left; keep your foot from evil. It seems that Proverbs 4 is building on what I read previously in Chapter 3. It said that I should lean not on my own understanding and in my ways acknowledge Him and He will make my paths straight. Now Chapter 4 talks about what paths to specifically avoid (those of the wicked) and to turn away and go in the other direction. But it doesn't Say exactly how to recognize the good paths, other than to fix my gaze ahead, consider the level and the firm paths, and to not go sideways. This ties in with God already having made the path straight for me as long as I go straight ahead. What is more interesting in this scripture to me is that is says to consider the level and firm paths. The word consider is interesting because I can think of many times of going on hikes where the terrain changed quickly from what it was when I first set out. Although I can't see everything ahead, I should be able to take many things into account when choosing a path; how level it is, how firm, how straight. But even though I might not see all of these characteristics, I have other people in my life to help me see what I can not from their experience and judgement. I know that I have a responsibility to be a good husband and that requires considering choices for my family. I know that I won't always know the right one, but that part of the process will be to seek out the people who have gone before me and to request some help. I know that God is not in the business of fooling us by leading us down paths that appear straight and level and then change drastically. More, I think that He wants me to consider my paths and seek Him, and in doing so He'll show me which is the straightest and most level. I want to find these paths since now my life will mean so much more since I now have another person to share each of these journeys with, for better or for worse. -Bob

Proverbs 3

Well, I was hit pretty hard with a weekend bug that kept me in bed most of the last few days. I'm finally starting to feel normal again, but I have this guilt hanging that I've made a promise to myself to stay on top of this devotional commitment. So I'll make an attempt here to "catch-up". Proverbs 3 Versus 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. When it has come to Susan and I, there have been many times where I have not understood God's plan using my own ability to think. We've had an amazing relationship since we met at the end of college, but it's been a bit bumpy along the way. From friendship, to deciding that we were interested in something more than friendship, to engagement, and finally to marriage, we've seen our share of tough relational times. But as I look back on each one, I can now see God's hand moving quietly behind the scenes. And I've had times where I've trusted in Him little to completely. But He has been faithful. It is not about my understanding, but about His plan. So as I look ahead for us I know what I have to do; keep my trust secure and try not to figure it out on my own, but walk forward anyway. I'll certainly be challenged in this in the coming months as Susan and I wait to hear about her MIT application, and although much of the situation of moving to Boston and changing our lives completely scares me to death, I pray to the Lord whenever it comes to mind, that His will be done and that I have the strength to do right by Him. I know that my understanding is so small, but I am comforted knowing that in the past, although I never understood a situation, that it always came out OK; and so will all the ones to come. Verse 6 then says that in all your ways acknowledge Him. Two weeks ago in church the pastor discussed how he did this in his daily life. It came down to simple prayers to God as he churned through the minutes of his day: Lord, I'm driving to work, please be with me... Lord, I'm going into a meeting, give me your words... Lord, I'm going to work-out, I give you the glory... etc, etc, etc. I thought about how simple that was. Of course the discipline had to be there, but the spiritual part was so simple...acknowledge that God is a part of every little thing. Then, as verse 6 says, He will make your paths straight. So for Susan and I, I am going to try to acknowledged God in everything... Lord, be a part of our wedding ceremony... Lord, we are sharing a meal together.... Lord, we are in a fight... etc, etc, etc. Like I said before, we've come on a bumpy road, and it still can have some bumps to come, but if I am trusting in God and including Him in the little things, then I do not have to trust on my own understanding, and although bumpy, my paths will be straight. -Bob

Proverbs 2

Proverbs 2- Being a logical thinker, versus 1-5 grabbed my attention. It's a simple if-then statement in it's form, while not necessarily marking any simple tasks. "My son, IF you accept my words AND store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, AND IF you call out for insight, AND IF you look for it as for silver AND search for it as for hidden treasure, THEN you will understand the fear of the Lord AND find the knowledge of God." In my own words, I see this as..... Outcome: 1) Understand what it means to 'fear the Lord' and 2) Find the knowledge of God Requirements: 1) Accept His words 2) Store up His commands 3) Call out for insight 4) Cry aloud for understanding 5) Look for it (insight?) as for silver 6) Search it (insight?) as for treasure ...Like I said, it's all extremely logical. But I'll elaborate more on this list of requirements and what I think the outcome is. Starting with the requirements; I think it starts by training my heart to know when the Lord is speaking to me (large decisions and small) so that I can be comfortable understanding His voice. It is then about being able to recall them. I know that it have a duty to lead my new family (Susan and I) and that I can not do that unless I have an ear that is trained to hear fro God. Sure, I can take us down some different paths in our lives, and I can probably even get us both feeling comfortable with some choices that we may make, but if I am not making the right choices, God's choices, then I am not meeting my duty in my family. Storing up, or remembering His commands is just as important as hearing them in the first place. If God reveals His direction to me and it later becomes the desired path, I'll be the fool for having known and not filed that most important guidance away until the appointed time. Then, being vocal to seek out insight and wisdom then starts to fill in the gaps that are left by the divine wisdom instilled by God. Sure, God will instruct me in certain ways, but then it is also on me to dig deep and find some of the hidden answers. Again, I'd be a fool not to call out for some help and instruction. Which I guess is what I am doing with this blog: I'm asking you all to help me check my own understanding; of my life, my roles, my thoughts regarding marriage, and my thoughts towards Susan. I'm calling out to you all, Help me to be better!!! Finally, when it is not revealed and when it is not instructed (after my own solicitations, perhaps), my last place to find wisdom is in my own prayer and reflection. As I determined yesterday from Proverbs 1, by the time I need wisdom, It's likely too late to call out for it and expect that it should descend on me instantly (although nothing is beyond the divine). So, my recourse is to study myself; to learn from my own past and from others' so that I can see how to do things differently. Learning from what I know has happened in the past takes intense study, probably more than some glancing thoughts here and there and a few minutes a day in prayer. I'm thinking that I need to start writing down the times where I find myself without wisdom, so that as I accumulate some answers (and new questions) I can connect the dots and build a picture of what is right. This makes some sense considering as the verse states to search/look as for silver. If that should be the case, then to start with, I should be spending at least the same amount of time every month planning how to budget finances, pay bills, tithe, and save for the future as I am reflecting and seeking the wisdom from my past experiences. I'll admit right now, that jsut in my thought-life, that I probably spend more time thinking about "silver" than I do about "wisdom" in my marriage. Clearly I have some places to grow in order to be better. So after all of these requirements, my outcome is that I can then understand "fearing the Lord" and "knowledge of God". From what I know today, fearing the lord is about fearing letting Him down, and knowledge of God is the factual part of His existence that comes to light after all other areas of life can be accepted on Faith. It makes sense to me that He reveals himself in this order for the reason of seeing us walk on faith first and then on knowledge of supernatural things. I know my interpretation of these last two things is probably a bit spotty, but I think that is because I have more time to spend on #1-#6. What do you all think? -Bob

Proverbs 1

Proverbs 1 - Verses 20-33 called out to me the most in this chapter. It tells me that wisdom calls out (quite vocally) and that the warning is that the reader does not take the time to hear. Then, calamity comes and there is no longer any rescue available by searching for wisdom that had not been gained already. The time for learning and application has passed and the path of calamity has already been decided, until God intervenes. Alternatively, there is learning that can signal the calamity beforehand and provide the opportunity for a course correction- wisdom. The unfortunate part is that ignorance completely covers our ability to hear the calling from wisdom. We have to consciously and intentionally search to block our own ignorant attitude and try to find our ability to hear the wisdom being called out. It's there all along, but the ability to hear it might not be. It is also interesting to me how God bestows wisdom where He sees the right matter of heart. Once calamity arrives, our search for wisdom is to merely solve our own problem, but it seems that he honors our seeking wisdom more when we have no problem at all, but seek anyway knowing that we need to prepare for a future problem. When it comes to Susan, I guess I know enough to know that I don't know much about what makes her tick. Although I can sense her mood from a phone call, improve that mood in usually close to 5 minutes (although it goes the opposite way just as fast), make her feel tremendously loved with just a smile and a few words, or just sit next to her in silence for an hour and still tell that she is happy; I still know that I'll be baffled beyond my comprehension, that I'll blow it altogether at least once a week, and that I'll surely have to apologize for all amounts of unknown or at least unintended comments. But I guess this is telling me that my cries for wisdom in all of those circumstances may be all too late (for that particular moment) and that my attempts at apologies are likely won by reflection and prayer before the issue ever arises. Which means that as I go through each day, I'll learn something more about how to make this thing called marriage work, and that I'm the fool if I don't keep tabs on those outcomes and learn to improve them. Verse 32 says "the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of the fools will destroy them." I think the first half of this statement is about the hierarchy and inter-relation of God-Family-Self. Foregoing God essentially leaves you dead, and in my case, my marriage could end up dead or dying if my morals (and my responsibility to watch over Susan's) slip to less-than-godly. By not watching out for God's basic instructions in my life, I can end up killing my marriage because I am not maintaining my life in right-standing with God. Furthermore, if my marriage then starts to die, my own life, individually (which is linked then so closely to Susan's) will then wither as well. The second half of this verse tells me how to avoid all of this: do not get complacent. This means to me that I have to be intentional to avoid being lax and guard over my moral life (in large decisions and in small ones) as well as the moral life that Susan and I will soon have (liewise large and small decisions). Verse 32 seems to tell me that if I watch that part of our lives first that our survival as a couple is assured. ________________ Please feel free to tell me any of your opinions on Chapter 1 as well as what you think on my interpretation of the Word. And, you all know me well enough that you can tell me anything that you really think. Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. -Bob