Proverbs 15

"A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise commends knowledge;
But the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life,
But a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
The lips of the wise spreads knowledge,
Not so the hearts of fools"
Verses 1, 2, 4, and 7

Again it's obvious to me what is important to take away from this chapter just from the amount of text used: God is concerned with what we say? Maybe that is because what we say is different that what we think because our words go beyond our own selves. But, this is double-edged, with the ability to harm or help.

No doubt since Susan and I will be spending the rest of our lives together that we might use the largest proportion of our words over our lifetimes in communicating with one another. If not, certainly the conversations will have a different meaning and weight than with co-workers and friends. That means then that I have to think before I speak. I guess a married man doesn't need the Bible to confirm that truth, but here I think it is really telling me to consider my tone and demeanor when I speak with Susan so that we don't start irrelevant fights because of a stupid off hand comment or an unneeded tone; to be a source of comfort to her and to keep all lies from my mouth; and to make sure that when I speak that I know facts rather than guessing. Maybe this is even telling me to avoid gushing folly from my mouth like a fool. That sounds awfully close to advice I have heard before; that women want men to listen and not to react. I guess God knows all these things long before we do and in his subtle ways He is telling me everything I need to know about women if I simply search for His intent.
-Bob

Proverbs 14

"He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress,
And for his children it will be a refuge."
Verse 26

Clearly God values the home and the environment there. It should be the refuge from everything else that has happened in a day. But I know how it can't feel that way ifi don't put God first. There are days when I am completely stressed out and I let myself get agitated with other people and can act pretty abrasively, especially to the people that are closest to me. And then even when I come back home (or go to be with those people that are close to me, including Susan) that abrasiveness hasn't yet worn off. I usually attempt to use working out as a typical way to get some of that stress and frustration out, but even that still can't always solve me attitude.

But when I choose to have God as part of my day, much of that changes. I can certainly recognize those times when I am dependant on God in my daily activities and especially when coming home doesn't change any of the outcomes of the day, but it definitely mutes all of the emotional parts that are hard to control. So to be starting a life with Susan and thinking about coming home to her at the end of each day, it's critical that I remember how God intends my house to be and how my commitment and action toward God is related to the home life that results. I keep seeing in Proverbs that it is not all about me anymore, and that I need to expand my thinking to be aware of consequences for 2 instead of 1.
-Bob