Proverbs 17

"Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." (Verses 1,14) I'd be an idiot to think that Susan and I won't fight. In fact, we've had our share already; some big one's too, and I'm wondering if there are even bigger ones to come. I'm thankful that I can't recall a time when we have stayed mad at each other for more than a few hours. Sometimes we may not have reached an agreement, but anger and dissent have subsided. It seems that Proverbs is encouraging me to seek peace with Susan (the person who I will live with, spend nearly all of my time with, share the most intimate things with, etc) before nearly all else in life. That peace in our home is more rewarding than the best meal. I can honestly believe this because when I look back on the fights that Susan and I have had (many times over seemingly trivial things), when they are not resolved, I genuinely feel a lacking in my body and my soul. This is a lacking I feel until we reach a resolution. I know that I have to continue to listen to this repeatedly, and that it is my role to initiate the origins of peace after a fight, regardless of whose fault it may be. I'm the one who is responsible to God for our family and I have to then be the one to bring us both back into right standing with Him. I know what it feels like when peace is not here and I have to maintain diligence to see that I react appropriately to bring Susan and I back to a peaceful place. -Bob

Proverbs 16

"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord...There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death...Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:2,25,3) I can take these few verses and apply them to almost anything. It's tempting to focus on some other life aspects, but I'll maintain my goal of examining what Proverbs has to say as it applies to marriage. I think these verses are talking about the choices that I will have to make. I don't know what those will be, but I'm told here that just by my ways alone, the choice may appear right, but I'll not be sure of a right choice unless God is involved in making that choice. I'll know I'm proceeding in the right direction if I know that my choice has been instructed or confirmed by the Lord. Verse 3 then says that with plans committed to Him, they will succeed. I don't think that He is trying to define success, but perhaps the absence of calamity. And finally, God is really looking at our heart motives when we make choices: is my heart in it for God, or is God a secondary factor? I know I'll be faced with making some tough decisions regarding Susan and I. I'm sure they will things like, where to live, how to discipline children, jobs to take or not to take, etc. but my challenge here is to remain in the presence of the Lord and not to let my ways and plans be above His. He already knows the desires of my heart and when I choose His ways, I trust that He will be rewarding in His own time. And until then, I have to commit all that I do to glorifying His purposes. -Bob