Proverbs 12

Both verses 4 and 9 had practical applications for marriage in my eyes.

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

"Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than to pretend to be somebody and have no food."

First, verse 4 although it talks about Susan, I think still starts with me. In Men's Fraternity at church we have talked many times about men's roles in marriage. One of which is that it's a man's responsibility to be an initiator (in all sorts of matters). And so although verse 4 talks about the role of a wife, I still believe that it first has to start with me. I have to be fulfilling my roles first, and with God's grace then, she'll feel natural to fulfill the roles that God has laid out for her, in this case, to have noble character. So really it's on me to be on my game and to not give excuses if there are parts of our relationship that are not peachy.

I also think that verse 9 is extremely practical as I try to fulfill my role as the head of our financial matters. I'm aware of all the pressures today to have all the "things"; house, car, cell phone, etc. But this verse is warning me about financial prudence as well in making those choices. It means that I should be grateful for any house and car and not necessarily the most beautiful ones. I trust the Lord in my financial matters and I know that if I maintain prudence that he will always make sure that Susan and I are taken care of in basic needs. But it still lies on me not to squander money chasing fruitless gains.

-Bob

Proverbs 11

Verse 25: A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. This verse speaks to me as I remember that in marrying Susan, I am no longer just myself...it will be us. I won't only be concerned in life with myself but the well-being, happiness, safety, care, and satisfaction of Susan. If my mom taught me anything, it was that it was a guy's job to take care of a girl. And so I plan to do this. I'm sure also that I'll come to understand what this means even more intimately than I do now. So in verse 25, it reminds me to be generous and to refresh others. In this case I apply this instruction to Susan. In all the things I listed above; happiness, safety, etc., I can certainly accomplish them, or even more, I can be sure to double my generosity and make Susan feel like she is the most loved person on the planet. We went through this in Men's Fraternity at church; that the focus of a marriage is for a man to make sure that his wife feels extremely loved and for a wife to have her husband feel respected. So I want to fulfill my role in this using the spirit of verse 25, with generosity and by refreshing Susan. I can always tell when she feels loved by the smile on her face. And usually she doesn't have to say anything. So if I don't get that response from her, I know that I'll need to be more generous and give her more of my love so that she can feel refreshed. -Bob

Proverbs 10

Although there is a lot is chapter 10 about the connection between our speech and how it is viewed by God, it was actually verse 12 that seeemed to grab me considering the context of marriage.

"Hatred stirs up dissention,
but love covers over all wrongs."

I know that marriage won't be all roses and that Susan and I are likely to disagree. Maybe that's even an understatement knowing that she can get firery at times and that I can be insanely stubborn. But as verse 12 says, hatred stirs up dissention, and not the other way around. Also, hatred is a choice, dissention or disagreement might not be, but the reaction to a disagreement certainly is. What gets me here is that Susan and I have to be watchful not to let little things build up to a hatred. Once that happens, our marriage could get pretty dicey. I also know that with our personalities, it will take diligence on my part to make sure that we diffuse situations before they become larger issues.

Finally, then, since love covers over all wrongs, this will be my tool for diffusing difficult circumstances. I still remember that it is a choice and so even in the midst of conflict, I can choose to settle a dispute and let love take over. With love, we both have the ability to give and receive grace from one another to keep our marriage strong.

-Bob
-Bob

Proverbs 9

Proverbs 9 contrasts how both Wisdom and Folly call out to the simple. Wisdom, from the highest point int he city call, "Let all who are simple come in here!" she says to those who lack judgement (verse4). In verse 16 it says that Folly does likewise calling from the highest point in the city to the simple. But although they sound alike, they are quite different. Wisdom has made preparation of meat and wine, while Folly has only stolen food to offer. This is a good depiction of how wisdom is hidden among many other things that pretend to look like it. Isn't this the way of the devil! But it is differentiated by the preparations. It's as another place in scripture says...you can tell a tree by the fruit it bears. I know that I can usually recognize a well-prepared meal from something "stolen" or at least hastily prepared. So too is wisdom and the ways of the Lord separated from the seemingly similar foolish choices. I think this comes back to having trained my eyes and heart to spot the foolish paths before I get too close to them. Repetition then breeds success. Learning how to differentiate the right path from the wrong one will prepare me for the next time, and the next, where it gets harder and harder to find the difference between the two. I can already recite a short list of a few key places in my life where I've made the wrong decision, but at least in those, I know have a keen understanding of what the foolish path looks like and I know I won't be going back down that way again. I know that I can't quite fathom what this whole marriage relationship will look like with Susan, but I know it will be rough at times and that together we'll be faced with some pretty tough choices as we go. Maybe by keeping my eyes on the Lord and my prayers focused on finding the right decisions while they are still small, that when the tougher relational and family decisions come, they won't feel so tough after all; because I'll be able to see Wisdom and Folly calling out and I can hopefully brush aside the foolish way quickly so that I can get on with the right one.

Proverbs 8

Proverbs 8:13 To fear the Lord is to hate evil; hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. Whenever I read anything in scripture that says to fear the Lord, I still have a feeling that I don't understand that phrase to the depth that it entails. Here it says it is the same as hating evil. For those of you that know me, you already know that I have a pretty even temperament. But there are some things that still irk me to the boiling point: traffic is certainly number one, but then also spending money when it doesn't make sense to, and having people touch my feet. If someone was polling me on the street, I'm afraid that EVIL probably wound' have made my list of the things that I hate. I guess that I have some things to work on then. Now considering an example of one of the things that I do hate, traffic, I take great strides to make sure that I minimize the time I spend in traffic each day by rolling out of bed at ungodly hours of the morning to beat the other cars onto the road, checking freeway congestion to make sure that I take the route which will save me 5 minutes off of my trip, and yes, I'm the guy (sometimes) who changes lanes (safely of course) to try to stay in the lane that is always moving the fastest. (I never said that I was perfect). Honestly that's quite a bit of effort. But when it comes to evil, I don't observe myself going to the same pains to create the avoidance. So maybe I don't hate evil enough? After all it's about respecting the Lord and aligning myself with His ways, and since He hates evil, then I probably need to learn how to do the same. Hate is a strong word, but it seems to fit into proverbs well because it invokes the idea of strong avoidance even from a distance. By creating a hate for evil within me, I hopefully can be able to keep it at a further and further distance. That all comes back to the behavioral elements that verse 13 listed: pride, arrogance, and perverse speech. Hating it enough, I'll start to intentionally avoid pride and arrogance. I already know that pride and arrogance quickly destroy you from the inside and that perverse speech is nothing more than a verbal mess. so Proverbs is telling me to identify the places where I have had evil behavior and to quickly develop a hatred for them so that I can place those behaviors as far away as possible. I doing this I will be fearing and respecting the Lord. -Bob

Proverbs 7

So again, proverbs gives more instruction on avoiding adultery in Chapter 7. Clearly this is a heavy topic and of great importance. To be honest I find it hard to apply instructions to avoid adultery because it makes every sense to me that it is a completely wrong thing. In fact, at less than a month from getting married, I honestly can't even imagine being enamored with another woman besides Susan. I honestly hope that the feeling stays with me forever, but I've heard and I think I understand other people when they say that Love is a choice in addition to a feeling. Absolutely, I love Susan; both as a feeling of the heart and as a choice. But I can see that I need to renew that choice every day, or like in yesterday's chapter, "a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands too rest, and poverty will come on you like a bandit." Complacency can bring disaster. That applies here as well. One day at a time might not change much, but cumulatively, many days of forgetting that loving Susan is a choice can start to compromise what I think I feel. My take-away from this reading is that, first as verses 2-5 say "keep my commands...write them on the tablet of your heart...call understanding your kinsman, and they will keep you from the adulteress" and, second, I need to remember that each day I make a choice to love Susan. This way no matter what we fight about or how angry or frustrated I might get with her, my love for her will not hesitate and I will never be compromised by even thinking of making the choice of adultery. I'm glad that I have all of you as Godly men in my life both as examples to me and as witnesses to what I attest here and to what I promise to Susan at our wedding. I understand that I am committing to be faithful to her until the day I die and I take that very seriously. So, coming back to how I started this, Proverbs rightly applies seriousness to the topic of adultery. And it is up to me to choose every day that I love Susan and to honor God and her with my commitment. -Bob

Proverbs 6

Verses 10-11 "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man." I think this makes sense both for my daily life as well as for spiritual applications. It's easy to see that becoming lackadaisical in finances, work, repairs, cleaning, etc all will lead to some situation of hopelessness: an overflowing sink, an overgrown yard, a worn out car, or an empty bank account. I think this warning is more importantly a spiritual one. One day at a time, and every choice we make, we can choose to have God included or excluded. Add that dirty dish to either the sink or to the dishwasher. Constantly making the right decision not only develops good habits fir the future, but keeps the kitchen well kept. But then the 2nd and 3rd day comes and prayer is left out, devotions are forgotten, and life is too busy to recognize God, and quickly the days have become like the sink full of dirty dishes. Nothing can be done except to clear away all the clutter and start to re-build the habit once again. It's easy in concept to clear the 1 dish, or remember the 1 daily prayer, but applying it over and over is ever more important. God is there but he wants me to come to him constantly to have relationship with Him. That relationship is destroyed if I put Him off for another day, then again, and again, etc. For Susan and I this means that I have to be diligent to make sure that we pray together every day and to take time to recognize where God has interacted in our lives. He has done so many great things already, why would He abandon us now. We simply need to acknowledge Him each day. -Bob

Proverbs 5

Proverbs 5, in giving direction on adultery, is much different that Chapter 1 which gives direction on avoiding sinners. Proverbs 1:15 ...do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths Proverbs 5:18 Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house. Proverbs 5 says to take extra caution in dealing with adulterous behavior; to not only stay off of their paths, but in fact to avoid crossing them and to avoid being near to those paths altogether. I think that this is an example of God stepping in to help us where he knows that we can be too weak to help ourselves. So he gives more specific and guided isntruction. "for a man's ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths." We are human and therefore can not be perfect. God know this and so would not want us in a situation that tests our reserve in fending off attacks from the devil. I specifically think that the devil can tell if we are weak in this area and will do everything possible to make us stumble. But the Lord says to go no near the path of an adulterer. In applying this to Susan and I, I think one of the ways which we've started this relationship will help us to stay away from the adulterous path altogether. We started by writing down a set of "ground-rules" to help each other understand our expectations. After the discussion of all the topics, one of the "rules" was that we were not going to be spending time alone with anyone of the opposite sex without discussing it together first. This has been a good start to make sure that even if we don't feel that we are being tempted that we have each other to help check our own thinking to make sure that we aren't blind to any part of the situation. Still I know that this will always require thought and effort. I'll be forced to think ahead to make sure that whatever I do on a day to day basis is not leading me near to a adulterous temptation. I think the best that I can do is to continually be open with Susan about what decisions I make, where I spend time, and who is with me when she is not. That way everything is in the light and no insignificant details can turn into a temptation later. -Bob

Proverbs 4

Verse 14-15, 25-27 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and go on your way. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Consider the level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or left; keep your foot from evil. It seems that Proverbs 4 is building on what I read previously in Chapter 3. It said that I should lean not on my own understanding and in my ways acknowledge Him and He will make my paths straight. Now Chapter 4 talks about what paths to specifically avoid (those of the wicked) and to turn away and go in the other direction. But it doesn't Say exactly how to recognize the good paths, other than to fix my gaze ahead, consider the level and the firm paths, and to not go sideways. This ties in with God already having made the path straight for me as long as I go straight ahead. What is more interesting in this scripture to me is that is says to consider the level and firm paths. The word consider is interesting because I can think of many times of going on hikes where the terrain changed quickly from what it was when I first set out. Although I can't see everything ahead, I should be able to take many things into account when choosing a path; how level it is, how firm, how straight. But even though I might not see all of these characteristics, I have other people in my life to help me see what I can not from their experience and judgement. I know that I have a responsibility to be a good husband and that requires considering choices for my family. I know that I won't always know the right one, but that part of the process will be to seek out the people who have gone before me and to request some help. I know that God is not in the business of fooling us by leading us down paths that appear straight and level and then change drastically. More, I think that He wants me to consider my paths and seek Him, and in doing so He'll show me which is the straightest and most level. I want to find these paths since now my life will mean so much more since I now have another person to share each of these journeys with, for better or for worse. -Bob

Proverbs 3

Well, I was hit pretty hard with a weekend bug that kept me in bed most of the last few days. I'm finally starting to feel normal again, but I have this guilt hanging that I've made a promise to myself to stay on top of this devotional commitment. So I'll make an attempt here to "catch-up". Proverbs 3 Versus 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. When it has come to Susan and I, there have been many times where I have not understood God's plan using my own ability to think. We've had an amazing relationship since we met at the end of college, but it's been a bit bumpy along the way. From friendship, to deciding that we were interested in something more than friendship, to engagement, and finally to marriage, we've seen our share of tough relational times. But as I look back on each one, I can now see God's hand moving quietly behind the scenes. And I've had times where I've trusted in Him little to completely. But He has been faithful. It is not about my understanding, but about His plan. So as I look ahead for us I know what I have to do; keep my trust secure and try not to figure it out on my own, but walk forward anyway. I'll certainly be challenged in this in the coming months as Susan and I wait to hear about her MIT application, and although much of the situation of moving to Boston and changing our lives completely scares me to death, I pray to the Lord whenever it comes to mind, that His will be done and that I have the strength to do right by Him. I know that my understanding is so small, but I am comforted knowing that in the past, although I never understood a situation, that it always came out OK; and so will all the ones to come. Verse 6 then says that in all your ways acknowledge Him. Two weeks ago in church the pastor discussed how he did this in his daily life. It came down to simple prayers to God as he churned through the minutes of his day: Lord, I'm driving to work, please be with me... Lord, I'm going into a meeting, give me your words... Lord, I'm going to work-out, I give you the glory... etc, etc, etc. I thought about how simple that was. Of course the discipline had to be there, but the spiritual part was so simple...acknowledge that God is a part of every little thing. Then, as verse 6 says, He will make your paths straight. So for Susan and I, I am going to try to acknowledged God in everything... Lord, be a part of our wedding ceremony... Lord, we are sharing a meal together.... Lord, we are in a fight... etc, etc, etc. Like I said before, we've come on a bumpy road, and it still can have some bumps to come, but if I am trusting in God and including Him in the little things, then I do not have to trust on my own understanding, and although bumpy, my paths will be straight. -Bob